After nearly a decade of having the privilege of studying and writing almost full time, I began to think, somewhat arrogantly, that there were no more ideas which could produce a revolution of my worldview. I had a sense that I had already stumbled upon all of the major ideas through which the world should be understood.
I was wrong! Just arrogant!
Recently I stumbled across David Pinsof’s work and my worldview shifted one more time! The idea is simple, but it hit me like a freight train: humans are status-seeking primates.
Yes, I’d heard that before. But I had never really seen it. I hadn’t understood the scale of it, how deeply it runs, how invisibly it operates, and how much of modern life is just a mask for this ancient drive.
Let me explain.
Humans are profoundly social animals. We evolved in tight groups, where social position determined survival and reproduction. Natural selection has thus wired our brains for hierarchy. Just like food and safety, status is a basic need. We don’t just want it, our nervous system is calibrated to track it constantly. And when we gain it, it rewards us with a flood of pleasure and motivation. So much of what we call “life satisfaction” is at its root positive comparison to the lot of others. In other words, a satisfying life is one where you feel you’re doing quite well compared to your peers, especially your close social circle.
But the status games are not so simple! The new insight that really opened my eyes is the fact that status can only be earned covertly. In other words, status signaling only works when it’s denied! The only way for us to collectively compete for status is to create the illusion that that’s NOT what we’re doing. Because as soon as we acknowledge the illusion, the game collapses and we have to do something else.
You can’t say:
- “I do all this work because I want to be admired and validated.”
- “I bought this big Mercedes SUV to signal my money-earning abilities and skills.”
- “I travel to take pictures I can share on social media to signal wealth and culture to my followers.”
That reeks of desperation. You are violating the unwritten rules of the game and people punish you for it. So we cloak it. We pretend not to see what’s going on. We invent goals that look like something else (knowledge, virtue, sport, religion, or service). We even lie to ourselves because the best way to fool others is to genuinely believe your own bullshit. But underneath, all these things are still moves in a status game.
I had never made this connection clearly.
Academic degrees? They advance knowledge and I’ll be the first to admit I’m grateful for science…but they also signal intelligence, diligence, prestige. Modern education can be described as an arms-race to signal competence to high-paying employers: the degree is more valuable than the skill. Moral activism? Of course, it’s about ethics, I’m not a cynic…but it’s also about being seen as someone who is good. Even religion, with all its humility, often grants its followers, especially the leaders, a special social status as arbiters of meaning and morality.
People want to be seen as doing virtuos things or chasing higher-minded goals and paradoxically, pretending not the care about status is the best way to gain it! Modern people who act “above” the status game are often just playing a more sophisticated version of it.
Wow! What an insight!
And here’s the part that hit me hardest: I realized I was doing it too!!!
For years, I’ve worked on causes I care deeply about (ethical treatment of animals, the future of energy, understanding consciousness, helping my audience achieve their goals). And yes, my motivations were real. But underneath, a part of me also wanted to be admired for being of service and seeing clearly. I wanted to be recognized for rising above the common status games (like money, fame, consumption) and playing a higher game of insight, truth, and morality. I wanted to be known as more than just a guy that chases muscles, money, and women. I wanted to deserve a seat at the table with thinkers I admire.
But that’s just another status game. A meta-status game.
And once you see this…you start seeing it everywhere. People scrambling to be recognized, to matter, to not fall behind. Some aim to be rich, others to be right, others to be kind. But the engine underneath is often the same: rank me higher!
This by itself would be a powerful insight. But when you combine it with the Moloch effect it becomes devastating.
The Moloch effect in a nutshell: The first one to optimize in a competitive game wins. Then everyone copies them. Then the initial advantage is erased and the new normal is worse for everyone.
Moloch shows up when an advantage, once discovered, must be adopted by everyone, even if it makes things worse overall. Some examples:
- The first woman puts on makeup. She becomes more beautiful and enjoys the benefits that come with it. The others soon follow. Once everyone wears makeup the initial advantage is erased and now every woman must wear makeup just to look normal!
- One creator starts using clickbait titles and thumbnails on YouTube and sees a massive surge in views. To stay competitive, others copy the strategy. But once everyone adopts clickbait, views return to the same baseline, only now the whole system is worse off, because audiences no longer trust that titles and thumbnails reflect the actual content.
- One person buys a massive SUV for safety. Those in small cars now feel vulnerable and looked down on. They all buy SUVs for the next car. Then the initial safety advantage is erased, streets are clogged, emissions soar and everyone’s back to square one.
- The first writer uses ChatGPT to crystalize his ideas. Everyone else follows. Soon enough all writing is exceptionally well structured and you can’t even write by yourself anymore because you’re too boring or long-winded. Do you think I didn’t use ChatGPT to help me structure this article? 😁
Plastic surgery. Designer clothes. Elite schools. Steroid abuse. Constant vacation flexing. The bar for “normal” keeps rising and so does the cost of playing.
Even in our fitness world you can see it. Twenty years ago, a physique like mine would have stood out. Now, it’s mid-at-best in a sea of enhanced bodies and genetic elites. I’m not compared to my local community anymore, but on the global stage of social media. What used to be “impressive” is now just “okay.”
This is how the status drive, hijacked by Moloch, creates a world where everyone must run faster just to stand still. By the way, the Moloch effect is so fascinating that it deserves its own post or video.
So what do we do?
I don’t know.
I don’t think status can be transcended. You can renounce certain games, but I think you’ll just fall into others: smaller, more local, but still competitive. Stop playing the money game and soon enough you’ll play competitive video games or have philosophical battles on obscure forums. You cannot transcended status seeking – it’s built within us, it’s like saying you’re going to transcend your thirst.
So my message here is not “withdraw” or “define your own success.” I personally tried and failed to do that in my 20s. And I don’t even know if seeing this clearly helps. I debated even sharing these ideas…I don’t know, maybe seeing the status game for what it is might kill your motivation. Make you resent your own goals. Strip the illusion that kept you energized. I hope not!
But for me, it brought clarity. Less resentment. Less confusion. Less anger at others. We’re all just scrambling to matter. And I’m part of it too.
You can’t escape the game. But you can understand the board.
*All the pictures come from The Silent Seminar. It’s great, I invite you to buy it or join my community to access it.